Love Wins

YES, LOVE WINS!!

Josh had started this blog years ago, and I have chosen to finish it. So much of my life is just a fragment of what I imagined. I figured I got it “right.” I loved when it was hard to love, and I survived. But.....life is a journey. You never completely arrive. 

Love...one of the simplest things to give and to receive.

Love...one of the most difficult things to give and to receive.

I know this sounds like a contradiction but it is not. The contradiction that we find does not come from the source of love (1 John 4:7,8) but rather from our skewed perception of love. Whenever we take something that comes from God and put our own definitions, regulations, and boundaries on it, we wind up turning it into something that it is not and was never meant to be.

Love...the most gentle force known to man.

Love...the most powerful force known to man.

Love was not made or created from the confines of the human imagination. It was not created by God; it is who God is. It is His inherent nature. Therefore, it is not limited to the restrictions of men; nor is it able to be withstood by human will power. No one is capable of loving to the degree that the Father loves. 

We think that with something as simple as love that there must be a catch. There is no catch to the giving or receiving of love. Likewise, we think that in order for something to be powerful it must also never be soft. 

In our human understanding of love we have put rules and regulations on love. We have determined what love is by what we receive out of it. We have defined love by the way it makes us feel. We have defined love by the flutters we feel in our stomach. But it’s not, those are feelings. Love is not a feeling.

I’ve been told I don’t know how to love; I’ve been told my definition is wrong. I’ve been told this by the people I think I love the most, and I’ve been told this by others looking into my life and thinking I’m ludicrous for staying married. Who are you going to listen to? 

What does the Father say about love? We need more of it. We need an everlasting love. We need to know His love. His love covers a multitude of sins. His love casts out all fear. So, when things aren’t going right, fall back to love. Love wins. It’s the only thing that wins. And some WILL hate you for your love. Love wins. Do it for Him. 

Keeper of TIme

Are you exhausted?  I can tell you I was, not even a week ago I could not fathom standing for a minute longer.  God's promises are true regardless of what we feel or see. That is such a hard concept to grasp, especially in today's society where everything is instant.

Almost 5 years ago we shut down this blog, why?  Because I (Serena) was tired.  Everything in here remains true to my heart to this day, but it was weighing heavy on me.  How do you have truth "out there" and not be living it?  There is a lot of advice on nutrition out there, and we get to decide if we are going to follow it.  We have seen what is written in this blog work.  We have seen it work countless times, and I am done hiding truth just because it's tough.  I need to step up in my own life, not just hide what I know to be true.

It took me 5 years to realize that even the Bible has truths, and we get to choose if we are going to live them.  If our life is falling apart it's most likely because we are not executing something properly. Is everything in this blog, Gospel?  Not even close, but the fact of the matter is that it still remains true.  Execution is the problem. 

Standing for marriage, if you read form the beginning of this blog we have always said was something you never stop doing. We still have the Stander's Affirmation mounted on our wall.  Our family vision is right beside it.  All of those things still remain true, but the work was not being done. It's certainly not because the truth isn't there.  The Bible is filled with all of the truths we need.  The Holy Spirit is constantly speaking. Am I listening? 

Have you ever heard the saying about "I'm standing on the outside, but I'm sitting on the inside?"  That probably sums up the last few years for me.  I have never completely lost my way or stopped believing, but I was feeling sorry for myself.  I had expectations of how my life should be going, and when they stopped going my way I sat down.  I had already fought this battle too many times. 

God called me to stand for marriage, and He and I have had it out many times over the past 13 years.  In fact, might even go so far as to be angry that I am called to do so.  I remembered the prophetic repentance Josh wrote a long time ago (search for it and be blessed), and it stirred something inside of me that HOPE is still available if we want to look for it.  I want to feed hope, even if it doesn't look like what I thought. 

The Lord gifted me with the ability to encourage and inspire, and the foundation of what I believe is based in the Word and not one of us can dictate how it will look unless we can determine the heart of a person or if we control time.  There isn't a 1,2,3 formula and the reason why is because we are humans.  Sinful and flawed in more ways than I care to admit. 

Letting go of our expectations of what WE think things should look like will be the beginning of freedom in what He has for us.  Following His truths for ourselves will be the only way.  We cannot change our kids, our friends, our spouses.  We must live truth for ourselves.

Just in case you are struggling right now, and you just feel like you have been standing for an endless amount of time.  The days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and the months into years remember He is the Keeper of Time.  Things in the Kingdom do not operate on our timing, and oh do I wish they did. 

On my morning walk today I heard this song, and I would like it to be a prophetic in that if it encourages you to hold on ONE MORE DAY, then do it.  ONE MORE HOUR, maybe?   I am praying fo you, as you stand in His promises and know that it's just a little bit more time. 

Suffering with Grace

"For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." I Peter 2:19-2

For it is commendable 

The word “commendable” is the Greek word for grace. God gives grace in suffering that he might bless us in the suffering. We could translate “commendable” as “favor.” We find favor with God when we endure suffering with God’s grace.We find favor with God when we endure suffering graciously. This is life on a  different level than those without Christ. This delights the heart of God for this is grace in action. 

The question isn't if you will suffer--you will, especially if you are the one we are writing to. We have walked this path.  The suffering is unjust--no doubt. The foundation of our faith is a Person—Jesus Christ. Intimacy with Him will make every difference during hard times.  Remember that Peter learned his lessons on suffering for Christ the hard way—through failure, guilt, and shame. We don't have to fail in this. God gives us the grace we need; He showed us in His word the steps to follow.  

This isn't about us giving you the steps on how to suffer gracefully. Let's look at the best example, as He suffered unjustly. 

When Jesus was accused, insulted and abused He stayed quiet, much to the surprise and annoyance of His tormentors. This world is very unfair, and we find ourselves in situations where we get so angry and confused at the unfairness of it all. Then the Holy Spirit reminds us that Jesus has gone before us; He suffered the greatest injustice of all times. He refrained from reacting, speaking or behaving in ways which would have appeared to be justified. Just think about how YOU would have handled it. We certainly imagine defending ourselves until SOMEONE would listen.  This helps us to give up our rage and commit ourselves to God who is bigger than the situation. Then we find peace and rest in our mind and heart.


Why did Jesus keep quiet? 

He had come down all the way from heaven for that moment, to die. The Father's will was clear, and the Father was asking Him to drink that cup which Jesus had asked whether there was any way to avoid. This cup meant DEATH.  It was total neglect, reversal and obliteration of justice; it didn't seem like justice would ever prevail. It was not for Jesus to argue, present evidence, calling for witnesses or supporters, get down from the cross, etc. He had to bear that injustice to the point of death. So, of course, He kept quiet. 

As a stander, as someone whom God has called to endure suffering for the sake of your marriage covenant, you are essentially signing up for neglect, rejection, injustice, and hate. Arguing, defending, giving ultimatums, yelling, calling for defenders.....none of this will get you to the goal.  You committed to this stand--until it was accomplished. Your covenant was "until death."  So, you suffer, not because there is justice in it. Not because it's easy to do. Not because you love your children. Not because you love your spouse. Not because you can't stand losing your spouse to another person.  You can use all of those things as help to stand, but your reason for standing MUST be because God has called you to be a stander. It is your purpose.

Was Jesus a soft person who allowed Himself to be bullied around? Far from it. He was always in command, never afraid to disagree with anyone or to stand against sin. He would only do what He really wanted to do. He didn't bow down before anyone. He told Pilate, to his face, (not with disrespect or pride) that he would have no authority over Him except what His Father gave.

 Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given

 to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me

 over to you is guilty of a greater sin." John 19:11

There are times during your stand when you will need courage to change the situation, and at other times we need grace to accept things that can't be changed. We need wisdom to know the difference. We need this wisdom even in studying the Bible.

If God is good, then how could He allow this to happen to me?

I thought He loved me!

Someone needed to step in with answers to these questions.
Someone did. The Apostle Peter wrote from his own experience. The lessons Peter learned along the way are the principles he teaches in the book of 1 Peter. Lessons that can take you beyond the anticipation of suffering to the expectation of power and grace in the midst of suffering. Lessons to carry you through your darkest days. Lessons to show you how the light of God’s grace in Christ Jesus will penetrate your darkest days and fill you with a joy only those who continue to follow will ever know. But, you’re going to need every resource available. Dig into His Word, and He will show you the way to allow His glory to shine through all of your suffering.

“I have written to you briefly, in order to encourage you,

and testify that this is the true grace of God. Stand fast in it.”

(1 Peter 5:12)

Still Standing

Hey everyone! It’s been such a long time since we have posted that we wanted to give you an update on us and share some awesome testimonies.

We have received a few emails over the last year that have asked if we are still here, still posting, still maintaining this blog. YES! We are still doing the work that God has placed in front of us. One of the biggest reasons that we post or don’t post is because of the Holy Spirit. If you have done any reading of our blog, you know that we ALWAYS point back to the Heavenly Father. For everything! This includes our inspiration to write. If we were to begin to post our own thoughts and ideas, this would not be a marital restoration blog. It would simply be a self-help resource. Our desire is to impact lives and marriages for His glory, not for our own recognition.

A few years ago, a very dear friend of ours prophesied over Josh that he would be like a sea-turtle that travels from region to region when the spiritual climate is right and that God would use us in amazing ways. It continued by saying that Josh swims in His splendor! In the last year, Josh has received a promotion at his job and we have moved cross-country again. Not because we wanted to move but because the spiritual climate was right and we allowed the current of God to move us to our present location. We are seeing God’s supernatural provision for us on an almost daily basis and we love enjoying basking in the Lord’s goodness. Many times we feel a little like Abraham and Sarah did and not having a permanent home but we love being led by God into the places where He wants us. We know that He has us here for a reason and we are actively looking for that reason to be revealed.

Currently, we reside in New Mexico. We would have never guessed that we would be living here but God knows. We live in the reality that He has brought us here for a reason and  we love knowing that He is control of our destiny.

Many times it seems like marriage restoration is a losing battle and that there is no victory in sight. However, that is simply the enemy trying to discourage us from continuing in this fight. Let us tell you that there are victories being won out there. We have the emails and first-hand testimonies of the heavenly Father at work on behalf of those willing to stand for the marriage covenant.

Some of our dear friends faced a marital catastrophe about 5 years ago. They were on the brink of divorce. In the middle of the crisis, they called us. So ,in the middle of the night ,we went to their home. When walked in their wedding photo was smashed on the ground. Glass was everywhere. Both of them were in tears. We share this not to boast in our counseling skills but in the power of the Holy One to do what He does best. Long story cut really short...after a few hours of prayer and talking they were back from the edge. They both wanted the marriage to work but didn't know how. Now, 5 years later, they are stronger than ever. They have 2 additional children past the time of the offense. They are fervently pursuing God in every aspect of their lives.

Another family that we know was also at that moment where divorce seemed eminent a few years ago. Serena spent numerous hours talking to the wife during this time. There were a lot of hurts that both of them needed to work through. And they did! We are happy to report that this family is standing strong today!

Over a year and a half ago, we received an email from a reader. When they initially made contact with us they were separated and going through the all-too-familiar routine of marital destruction. One of them says terrible and hurtful words. The other stands and prays, even though it seems like it will do no good. We prayed for them. We encouraged them as best we could via email. It took some time before we heard back from them. However, last month we  received another email praising God and giving us the good news. They have been reunited! Yea, they have a lot of work to do still but they are up for the challenge. Keep our friends in your prayers that they would experience the full restoration of their marriage.

It is so great to hear testimonies from friends and readers that have chosen to follow the direction of the Holy Spirit and stand for their marriage. It encourages us to continue this blog and keep doing what He has given to us.

As for us, well...today is the anniversary that this prodigal came home. 7 years ago, Josh woke up feeling something very strange inside of him. The only way that he can explain it is when you put on clothes that aren't yours and they don't fit right. A few hours later, he sent out a text to numerous friends and family asking for prayer. It was the first time that he acknowledged God in any area of his life. About 2 hours later, he called to ask if he could come home. He was ready to be done with living as a single man and wanted to be back with his family. It would be some time later that his heart would be home but we take whatever victories we can get! We knew that if his body was home his heart and mind would come around. His heart and mind were eventually restored by the grace of loving Heavenly Father.

Just because we are completely restored now does not mean that we don't have hard days. Like any serious wound that produces scars in our natural bodies, we still feel the effects of the past. Some days Josh feels the shame of his actions and the weight can be extremely heavy to bear. But, knows that he is forgiven by The Father and by me. Other days, Serena becomes very emotional. But, she knows that I am home and that The Father holds us in His hands. Both of us know that we are only here by the grace of God and that He has a very special plan for us. If He didn't, He wouldn't have given Josh a godly woman that has a firm foundation in Him and He wouldn't have given Serena a man that would continue to get back up even though he was severely cut down. Thank You, Father, for Your unending faithfulness!

In closing, let us say it again...we are still here. We are still standing strong for our marriage, believing that yours will experience a breakthrough, and that the devil is a liar. We still have a target on our lives because our stand for our marriage and our stand for yours. The enemy has not stopped pursuing us and we will not stop pursuing the Father. One of the reasons that the enemy has not stopped going after us and why this blog has gone so far is our willingness to be real. Marital restoration is not a walk in the park. It's a daily battle for the one that we love. We will always share with extreme transparency the ups and the downs of our life. We still believe that God is the biggest and that when we trust in Him and allow His Holy Spirit to guide us through this difficult path that He will bring total and complete restoration.

We love you all and will continue to keep you in our prayers! Keep standing!

Josh and Serena